Just popped in quickly to greet you guys a Happy Thanksgiving! I'm thankful for everything that I have and that is including you people!

Enjoy!

Oh and here's a treat from Mama A:





"And you couldn't have at least changed the blanket before snapping that thing at me, hey Ma?"

Heehee. Don't mind the Dora blanket. He's just borrowing from big sister, Chei.

I went in to kiss Chei goodnight, but before walking in I heard her praying to Cheezus (Jesus).

"Cheezus, I think I'm beginning to really like baby brother. Can you make sure that the bad guys don't take him away? And can you also make sure that he always has milk? Because if there's no more milk...I think he'll be very sad. And hungry. I asked Mommy if I could give him some of my corn if there's no more milk and she said no, brother needs to grow some teeth first or else he will get choke. Cheezus, even though brother cries a lot...I know you don't like it when kids cry, do you think you can tell Santa to give him a present for Christmas anyway? Because if he sees MY present he'll get jealous and I don't want him to get jealous. Or if you want, you can tell Santa not to give me a present this year so brother doesn't see it. I can wait until next year when I can teach him not to cry so much so that Santa will like him. Is that a deal? But make sure I get TWO presents, ok? Thank you. Amen."

God, I love this kid.

I miss sleeping. I miss cleaning the house to no end. I miss driving around with no time limits. I miss hugging Chei at night while we sleep. I miss shaving my legs. I miss going on the computer whenever I want. I miss shopping. I miss smelling like a woman and not puke. I miss not planning my days. I miss my non-saggy stomach. I miss Jun.

So with all the misunderstanding with this whole 10.10.10 thing I've finally (yep, still all ME doing all the deciding as Jun is pretty much useless with this kind of stuff) decided to bump our wedding date to September 10, 2011. Haha...yes, 09.10.11. And yes Hersh! I'm still a nerd for choosing that date! I guess it's for the best because we are STILL house hunting and I am STILL overweight. So this gives me plenty of time to lose the weight and hopefully find a house. As for the social...still deciding on that. But will most likely be in 2011 as well.

And thus, I can slack off just a little bit and not worry so much with the preparations.

Just thought I'd update you LJ peeps. Goodnight.

Ps - I miss LJ =(

I stepped out of the house quickly to Motherhood Maternity to buy a few bras that actually fit as I am getting tired of wearing sleep bras all the time and guess what! My bra size is 34F!!!!!!! 34F! I had to get the girl to check my size again and again as I didn't believe her, to the point where I think she was getting annoyed with me. Holy bageezus! I went from 34B to 34F! I am not amused. I feel like a cow. And in a sense, I am like one...milk and all.


Ew.

Yeh, just thought I'd share.

First let me apologize for the lack of comments and updates. Just thought I'd check in and let you guys know that I'm in fact still alive. Haven't been getting much sleep especially now that Bien has reached six weeks and is going through a growth spurt. He's been feeding almost every hour this past week! I am just about to lose my mind with this little guy. What gives me strength are his coos and smiles when the sun rises and he takes his morning poop...I swear, it's like he gave me back an extra five hours of sleep!

The other night I woke up feeling hungry so being in my usual zombified state, I went into the kitchen and dug up some left overs in the fridge. I swear, I must've been SUPER tired because when I opened the microwave door after heating up the plate of food only to find it NOT there I really thought I was losing it. I was like WTF??? My food did a disappearing act right in front of me! Did the microwave eat my chicken??? Lol. And then I looked at my right hand and there it was. Hahaha! I punched in the timer and waited a whole two minutes in front of the microwave with the plate in my hand the whole entire time! I had to laugh at myself after I realized what I just did. So there I was laughing like some psycho at 3:30 in the morning in front of the microwave oven with a plate of cold chicken in my hand.

So apart from being deprived of sleep, everything is okay. I really can't wait until Bien starts sleeping longer than 2-3 hours at a time. Because of this I'm breaking out like crazy! I have pimples sprouting everywhere on my face. I hate this. I want my clear skin back!

Oh and an update on the dilemma with my wedding date...let's just say that I've got to be the biggest douche in the world for the things I said about her. I really should have been paying closer attention because she had a legitimate reason for what she did. Her mother was diagnosed with breast cancer and is said to be in the late stage of the cancer. At her mother's request, she has to get married before they fly her off to the Philippines where she wants her body to be buried which is before Christmas of 2010. Gosh, I would not have blamed her if she wanted to give me a slap in the face. But to be fair, the misunderstanding could've been avoided had she just told me herself instead of other people telling me. But honestly, I don't even care about the misunderstanding. I feel like shit for how I confronted her. I called her a worthless friend when all along she was suffering enough inside. I could never ever wish death on anyone's mother regardless of the reason. So right now, I'm just trying to be there for her as much as I can even though I'm not getting any sleep myself.

Anyway, I don't really have much time to update on here, but you can most certainly catch me on Facebook as I usually do a 'log-in-and-out' on there to check my messages. If you can read this post, you are welcome to add me. My email is xxx@gmail.com.

Later!

A close friend of mine had just announced that she, too is getting married on October 10, 2010. This is the same friend who was one of the first to know when I had chosen that date for our wedding. She hasn't told me herself yet, or if she even has any plans in telling me at all. I had to hear it through a mutual friend. How sad is that?!

How is that supposed to work? We pretty much have the same circle of friends, so when that day comes people are supposed to choose whose wedding is more worthy of attending??? It's going to be so unfair to all of them.

So as usual, I'll be the one to bend backwards and step aside. I'll let her have the date. I will either have to move up the wedding day to a sooner date (which at this point looks impossible seeing that we're still house hunting) or postpone it.

Bitch is gonna have some serious explaining to do.

Note to self: Friends don't steal eachother's wedding dates.

He's finally heeeeeeeeere! First, I know you guys must be wondering what's up with his name. I know that in my previous post we were going to name him 'Lorenzo Bryson' and we had our minds set on calling him Bryson. But while Mommy was busy surfing the net during labour (see last post) she got bored and checked out babynames.com to see if the name "Bryson" existed and if it had a meaning. Well, it just so happens that 'Bien' was also listed under the letter "B" and I fell madly in love with the name and its meaning.

Apparently 'Bien' is a Spanish-Filipino name which means "good". And it also has a meaning in Vietnamese which is "ocean/sea". The name fits perfectly because he's been nothing but a good little angel since he has arrived into this world. And the Vietnamese meaning is such a coincidence (or perhaps fate?) because as a child I grew up near the ocean and have grown to love the sea. I love beaches, I love staring at the water, I love being around it...just like how I love staring and being around Bien. Asides to that, he's still L.BO!

He is five days old now and the public health nurse said he's already overweight 0_o. Lol. Nothing bad or wrong with that, just that he is rapidly gaining weight for someone his age. Maybe that's because he's already drinking four ounces of breast milk! I'm not joking. I honestly thought that I had some sort of freak baby in my hands over here because I don't ever remember Chei drinking this much when she was a newborn. But apparently it's normal for some babies.

I am breastfeeding via pump and bottle. I tried doing straight breast, but that didn't work out too well. I'd go into details, but I'd rather you keep your dinner down. I wanted to soooooooooo badly breastfeed, but after the third day it was just too painful for me to the point where I would literally grit my teeth and force myself from crying! But in the end I let out a long cry because I honestly wanted to continue breastfeeding. I gave up too easily with Chei when she was a baby. I think I lasted three months before I finally gave up on breastfeeding with her, and even then I often cheated with a bottle of formula until I decided to just give in and bottle feed her. This time around, I really want it to be different. I want all the benefits of breastfeeding for Bien. I'm not saying that Chei was not worth it, but seeing that she is my first child...you just learn these things.

So although I am not breastfeeding straight from the breast I am happy that he's still getting breast milk. Thank God for the inventors of breast pumps! It sucks that I have to pump like every 3-4 hours, but I don't care. I'm doing it for him. And he's worth every effort.

Man, I can't believe how attached I am to him already. It's the greatest feeling in the world having him near me. And I thought I wasn't going to like him! Haha. Pathetic I know. But I really wanted a little sister for Chei. But now I don't care. He's so precious. I love staring at him. I'm greedy, too. I don't let Jun or other people get too close to him. Lol. My sister's told me to stop hogging him. Too bad, he's mine.

Anyway, thanks for all the kind comments in my last posts guys! Oh and the birthday wishes, too! I can't believe Bien's birthday is only two days before mine, which is awesome. When he's much older, he can take Mommy out to a dinner date =)

( ♥ )

I woke up about 20 minutes ago after feeling something wet on the bed. Little guy here has been moving and tumbling around in my stomach all night, perhaps celebrating his arrival? I am 90 percent sure my water has broken and that I did not just have an accident on the bed at the age of 24. Well, 25 really since my birthday is up in three days.

So this is what it's like to have your water break on you. I've always thought that once your water breaks you automatically freak out due to the pains of contractions that follow immediately. That's what they always show you on tv, right? The woman pauses in shock and hangs on to her dear belly as if she's going to tumble backwards, and then she says, "I think my water just broke..." followed by some screams and heavy, unrealistic breathing.

My water never did break when I was pregnant with Chei. They had to break it for me in the hospital when I went into labour. So this is another new experience for me. I can still feel some trickling down there as I type. I feel like I'm peeing all over myself, but I know I'm not. I'm not in any pain as of yet, but I can feel a lot of pressure on my cervix as if an alien is trying to escape out of me.

I read that when your water breaks it does not necessarily mean you'll start feeling contractions right away. Some women don't go into actual labour until a week after! Man, that would suck if it happened to me. I don't want to be walking around and leaking for a whole week!

So anyway...just thought I'd blog about this wonderful experience before I disappear for a little bit. I'm sure that by the time I get back here to la-la land, little L.Bo has finally made his arrival.

Wish me luck guys! But what I really want is a short labour and short hospital stay. So if you can wish that for me, that would be nice, too. I don't care about the pain, as long as I don't have to endure it for that long and that I can be home on the same day to cater to Chei asap. She's not used to being without me or her dad for a long period of time, so I really am hoping that all goes well and that there won't be any complications to hold us hostage in the hospital longer than necessary.

Later guys!

Ooooh, and if you can wish for my rapid weightloss after having baby that would be fabulous, too!

I love it when ONTD comes up with epic posts. Such as these ones of singer Cassie Ventura. Earlier today these (NSFW) were leaked and not long after another "version" was released.

I don't know why I'm not so "wowed" by these photos. But in all honesty, as a woman, I really thought she'd have more class than that. But who knows, maybe it's for publicity. I mean, let's face it...she isn't anywhere near platinum status. And her most recent image isn't exactly flattering on her. I know she's trying to be edgy with that new hairstyle, but it's not making the cut.



So here's my "Best Comment of the Year" by a member of ONTD. I laughed so hard when I read it, I swear a little pee came out. Lol

( NSFW or NSFLife )

EDIT: Oh boy. The uncensored version just came out. Click at your own risk.

I get annoyed when random people whom I've never even heard of request to be added as a "friend". I find it even more annoying when people who were NEVER my friend request to be added. You know right off the bat they just wanna creep. But you know what gets to me the most? People who know damn well they stabbed you deep in the back in the past and request to be added after the fact. You'd have to be one hell of a thick-ass faced bitch to have the nerve.









There. I got it out of my system. This type of behavior is totally out of the norm for me. Must be the pregnancy hormones.

* Just finished cleaning out my friends list on FB and realized I had some ex-friends who are disguised as my bff's listed in there. At first I hesitated to click that [X] box (aka DELETE) thinking we might have a chance to salvage our friendship...but honestly, there's no chance. I don't need people in my life who don't know what it means to be a friend. I deleted those whom I really don't know and have just added them back to be nice, people who live in the same city that 'pretend' to know me, and people who post nothing but drama in their status updates. I kept those who are my LJ friends, old school mates who were actually nice to me, and of course, REAL friends and family.

I am in my 36th week now and doing my daily chores has gotten 5x harder to do. Doing the dishes is the most difficult because Jun refuses to hop on along to the 21st century and buy a dishwasher. We don't own a dishwasher. We ARE the dishwasher. Hmph. Not like we can't afford it. He thinks it's unnecessary at this time. You know, if he was the one doing the damn dishes everyday, I'd have no ifs about it. BUT he does not do the dishes everyday and on top of that, he does not have a baby hanging around his waist to make the process any more dandy than it already is! So you know what, I will get that damn dishwasher regardless of what he says!

Baby boy is putting so much pressure on my abdomen it hurts to move around at times. I really am hoping I will be early. It would be cool if baby came out on my 25th birthday (May 18)! He's due on May 27 so that might just be more possible than I think.

I'm ugly and swollen now, hence the lack of pics. Everytime there's a gathering and I spot someone with a camera I run away...that's how yucky I look! Oh and did I mention I'm fat? No, no. Don't throw your "Stop saying you're fat..." comments at me because I really am! I gained more weight with this pregnancy than I did with Chei. Oh well. It's my fault, I eat like a cow. So I am not looking for any sympathy or remorse from anybody. But for some reason I feel okay with this. Maybe because I am confident that I can lose the weight again. I mean, I managed to lose the 45 lbs I gained with Chei...what's another 10 lbs on top of that? It might be a lot tougher this time around, but I know I can do it. So I'm not worried.

Anyway, I apologize for not responding to your comments in my last post there. You try waddling your way to the computer with a belly the size of the sun, then tell me how you feel by the time you actually sit down. Torturous I tell you!

Oh and PS —

We didn't get the house. There were eight offers on it and we only came in 3rd. Boo.

Dear God,

If we get this house I promise I will not buy anymore make-up for a whole year.

Fine okay, okay. Make that two years since I have enough make-up here to last me a decade. I'd make it 10 years, but these things have expiration dates you know.

And I'll learn to cook this time!

So please God? Bless my little family with this house?

Which would you rather have?

Your long term boyfriend/husband who you love more than yourself confessing to you that he is gay OR that he is in love with another woman?

For me, my answer a few years ago was I'd rather have him be in love with another woman. BECAUSE...at least then there's still that slight chance he will come to realize that what he is feeling towards the other woman could just be a phase and then come back to me. If he turned out to be gay, there's no chance for that or whatsoever for the obvious reasons. He's gay. There's no un-gaying him. Right?

But now, I'm not so sure what my answer is. If he confessed to me that he is gay, will it be easier for me to move on knowing that it's not me who caused the split up? Will it be easier for me to move on knowing that it isn't ANOTHER WOMAN he's throwing us away for? Or will the pain just be equal knowing that man or woman, he still chose someone else?

How about you guys? What do you think? And no, Jun is not cheating on me nor is he gay. I really am just curious. I remember having this same conversion with two of my girl friends years ago, but it was "Would you rather have your long term boyfriend confess to you that he is in love with another girl OR learn that he is dying?" Our answers were mean because we all chose the latter. Haha. But now, honestly I do not which I would choose. Having my husband-to-be fall in love with another woman would BE just like him dying...because he's no longer going to be there. But would seeing him lying in a coffin be more painful than seeing him lying in bed with another woman?

I dunno. I'm sitting here eating chips and all these random things popping up into my head. I hope it's the first signs of labour.

I feel bad for calling them bad kids, but I really can't find a better word to describe kids who misbehave badly...ESPECIALLY in public.

I feel so, so, so blessed to have a little girl who truly is just an angel to be around. Now, I'm not bragging and I don't ever take credit for the way she is (which sounds weird enough, but I just don't go telling people "I sure do a fantastic job at raising her...").

Maybe it has got to do with the fact that she's never been in the care of other people other than me and her dad. We've tried many times leaving her with other people (relatives, daycares, etc.) but as some of you know, I always failed miserably. I just could never do it. I would much rather not have a life of my own than leave my child in the hands of others. That's just me. That's why it's rare you'll ever see me at the clubs or what have you...hence the lack of "clubbing" pics.

Chei is the type of child who will always ask if she wanted something. When we're out at the mall or grocery store, she'll ask for a toy and although most of the time I say yes, I can tell her "No, not today..." and she'll understand without a peep or whine. And she never touches things that are not hers. She's also very gentle with others, even other kids her age. Never hits or yells at other people/kids. Yes, there are times when she wants to be stubborn. Like when it's time for bed and brush her teeth, sometimes I have to ask her five times before she gets her butt in to the washroom. Or dinner time; her dad usually eats in front of the tv and she's made it a habit to do the same so it takes her FOREVER to finish dinner because of the distraction. So since I put my foot down and told both of them that dinner is to be eaten on the kitchen table, she'll put on her "I'm not happy" face and drag her feet all the way to the kitchen...her AND her dad. But other than those things, she really is a good kid.

So when I saw another little girl at the mall today screaming and pulling her mother's hair in front of everyone to see, I couldn't help but wonder how does a child become like that? Is it lack of discipline or is the child really just a terror? What I can't stand the most are bratty kids. Kids who yell and hit when they don't get what they want. The types of kids you see on Supernanny. Oh my, don't get me started on Supernanny. I cringe at the thought of having kids like the kids featured on that show. I'm sorry, but how do you NOT beat your kids when they behave like thaaat??? They hit, spit, and curse at you...seriously! Beat your kid! Lol. Joking aside, I do not condone physical abuse or any kind of abuse against children. You guys must think I'm some scary mom who beats her own child til she's black and blue. I could never hurt my kids and am thankful that my child has never pushed me to even think about it.

So moms...how do you discipline your kids when they behave badly?

You guys know how I've been saying that I have a spending problem? Well, I went through all the makeup I've bought over a span of eight weeks and it's not good my friend. Even I let out a loud gasp when I gathered everything. It's so bad that most are still in their boxes! And what's stupid is I can't stop buying! I keep telling myself, "This is the last time...I have enough..." And then something shimmery or sparkly catches my eyes and next thing you know I'm whipping out my credit card yet again.

Like last week, I told myself I wasn't interested in getting anything from MAC's Hello Kitty collection. I really wasn't feeling it. And then while walking around at The Bay to look for baby stuff, we passed by the MAC counter and I noticed that they had the ever-so-popular HK Pink Fish tlc! That was really all that interested me, to say the least. As I was walking up to the counter I saw Jun roll his eyes like "Here we go again." Lol. I looked at it, and then swatched some blush here, wiped some eyeshadow there...and about ten minutes later, I'm walking away $200.00 poorer. I'm terrible I know. Thankfully, I wasn't at all interested in the eyeshadow palettes. I've actually calmed down on the eyeshadows. Although I have been wearing eye makeup lately, I know for a fact that once baby is here I'd be lucky if I can even wash my hair nevermind do my makeup. And a lot of eyeshadows are dupe-able anyway. But I will forever be a blush girl! I just looooove blushes or anything for the cheeks really. So that's why I decided to get both blushes from HK.



Bought some brushes as well. The m/a said that they're discontinuing the 182, that was really the only reason why I bought it. Oh and I must've had a horse's shoe up my butt because I picked up the last HK Pink Fish tlc! Waahaa!



To be quite honest, I was more excited for MAC's Sugarsweet collection than the Hello Kitty collection. Picked these up yesterday and I might go back for the other shadesticks.





And after 20 years of living in Winnipeg, I recently just discovered that we do in fact have a Shoppers Drugmart Beauty Boutique! When we drove passed by it downtown, I was like, "No way!" Jun thought I witnessed someone getting stabbed or something (downtown Winnipeg sucks), but as soon as I said the word 'makeup' he stepped on that gas pedal like nobody's business. Hahahaha! But all I had to do was make my "I'm going to push out your son in just a few short weeks and will have to endure the pain of childbirth for the second time..." look and I was in that store with a smile the size of Texas. Lol. Walked out with these lovelies...



I've always wanted to try some of Benefit's stuff, but Sephora.com didn't ship their line to Canada for some reason. Some restriction rules or whatever. So I went nuts when I saw that Shoppers Drugmart had a huge selection of their line. Oh and I bought my very first Smashbox makeup. Their line doesn't really grab me for some reason, but when I swatched that blush on my hand, it had to be mine!



And here is the Mother Haul from Sephora.com. This is definitely the last of my online ordering days from Sephora because I will just wait out whatever urge I have until the first Sephora store opens up here in the city in May.




Where all the evidence hides.

Seeing all of this layed out in front me has made me realize...holy shit woman! You need to stop! I don't even want to think of how much all this cost. A part of me wishes that baby will come sooner so that he can occupy all of my time and I wouldn't have to think of makeup for another long time.

And speaking of baby, his room has finally been painted. His dresser is being delivered today. We've decided to use a cradle first because then I can just have him next to our bed at night. We'll worry about what he's going to sleep in once he outgrows his cradle. And I'm not sure if we want a glider. I am planning on breastfeeding and it would be nice to have a glider, but we are so tight on space right now, where would we put it?

Gosh. So many things to buy, so little time! We still need a car seat, stroller, diaper pale, clothes, etc...

HELP.

I'm beat. But I find that no matter how messed up my sleeping schedule is my body still manages to get up every 2-4 hours. Sometimes it's because I've been disturbed (phone ringing, Jun coming home from work, noise from outside, etc.), sometimes it's my bladder, but most of the time I'm just hungry.

My current sleep pattern is going to bed at 10am (yes! 10 AM) and I wake up around 2pm to eat. I bum around for about an hour or so and then I go back to sleep until 10pm. So I am awake ALL NIGHT and asleep ALL DAY. But mind you, between those 12 hours I get up about 2 or 3 times due to disturbance or to eat.

In a way I take this as baby's way of letting me know what my sleeping pattern will be like once he/she is out. So is there even a point in trying to fix my bad sleeping habit? I don't know.

Yesterday I went in for my monthly doctor's check-up and to get some blood work done. Baby is growing normally, heart rate is as usual, 140. My doctor was super busy yesterday so as soon as she was finished with me she left the room not realizing that I wasn't capable of getting up from the bed by myself. She runs back in to the room a minute later apologizing like crazy, "I am so sorry! I totally forgot that you're like a turtle on its back..." Lol. That made me laugh because it was exactly how I felt. I was flat on my back with nothing to hang on to, and the bed was so narrow so I couldn't exactly support myself in order to get up. I thought I was going to have roll myself off of the bed and pray that somehow I would land safely. Haha.

Hey, count down begins next week! Starting then I only have 10 more weeks to go! I can't believe in just a few more weeks I'm going to be a mother of two! Wow. I'm now more laid back about the idea of having two kids. Just a few months ago I was really worried about how I was going to divide my time between baby and Chei. But I think everything will be fine. Chei's always re-assuring me that she will help me out every step of the way. I know, can you picture my soon to be 5 year old rubbing my belly and telling me that she'll help with the diaper changing, feeding, bathing, playing, etc.? She even asked me if I could teach her how to operate the washing machine so that mommy doesn't have to do it because I'll be too busy with the baby. Lol. She sure does know how make mommy melt. She'll be one awesome big sister.

Anyway, this is for mama dakine023...my best shots ;-)



Boy was that Nikon ever heavy! My little sister took my point & shoot camera so I'm stuck with this massive dslr for now.



And here's moi, workin' it in the bathroom. Every time someone calls me fat (like my sisters who love to make fun of me) I tell them, "Screw you. You're just jealous cuz I've got cuuuurves!" Lol

Oh and Jun called me pretty yesterday when I took these. It felt so nice knowing that he still thinks I'm attractive despite the "curves". I was so cheesed.